My leadership at my church feels fruitless; my last few sermons stank; in the first 34 weeks of this year, I published only 25 “weekly” articles; and all my service to a partner charity feels clumsy, like I’m bungling everything in the eleventh hour.
Recently, I spend less time with my wife than I want; my brother (who lives in Australia) is visiting for two months and I’ve only met with him once; I’m having far fewer one-on-one meetings to care for acquaintances; and I’m falling behind in paperwork, housework, and email.
Bilbo Baggins once reflected, “I feel like butter scraped over too much toast.” My heart says, “Me too.” I have too much to do and too little time to do it.
My activities suffer from inadequate attention because I’m off to the next thing, which I’ll also do badly because something else cries out for for me to attend to it poorly too. This morning I read this old quote:
God created the world out of emptiness, and as long as we are empty, he can make something out of us.
God is calling me to embrace my emptiness and then give it to Him.
He Guides Us All There
Time management wisdom tells us to focus on the important and shed the unimportant. That’s easy when you have one “kid” but when about when you have nine? I don’t sense God releasing me from any of my “dependents” (though I keep asking!).
God stretches us, leading us to a life beyond natural resources. There is something he likes about the poor and he seems attracted to the needy. Because we empty-ones cry out to him. He not only calls us to being poor in spirit, he guides us to that very place:
- He leads Moses and Israelites into the Red Sea “trap”, where only God can save.
- He calls Gideon to reduce his army from tens of thousands to three hundred.
- He sends schoolboy David—not strapping Saul—to fight hulking Goliath.
Why does God continually man-handle us into places of weakness? Because he needs our poverty more than our riches; he wants our neediness more than our usefulness.
Which is exactly where God is bringing me. It’s the total opposite of self-esteem and natural giftedness; he is transforming my spirit of pride (I can do it!) into a spirit of emptiness (HELP!)
God’s friendship is with those who know their poverty.
We Need That Friendship
Too many books on spiritual wisdom teach us exactly how to prosper: The Essentials of Raising Godly Children, or The System for a Successful Prayer Life. But Christianity teaches us that our greatest need is friendship with God. Oswald Chambers said it this way,
He can accomplish nothing with the person who thinks that he is of use to God.
The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship [with Him] that we maintain and the surrounding qualities produced by that relationship.
That is all God asks, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack.
Amid my “too much to do and too little time to do it,” God is calling me back to friendship with him. It’s not the giftedness I offer, but the poverty I bring.
All we really need is need.
Sam
Human beings are designed for hearing God–true friendship–and without it we suffer. Please consider reading my book, Hearing God in Conversation: How to Recognize His Voice Everywhere. I believe it will help you hear his voice.
I’ve included most everything I know about how to hear God. Topics include:
- Learning to recognize his voice
- Hearing God in his silence
- How to Brainstorm with God
- Hearing God in Scripture
- Hearing God for guidance
Eugene Peterson said:
I picked it up out of curiosity and I couldn’t put it down.
Broken Answers
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Relationship is key – thanks for sharing!
Yes, relationship is the key. We say and say it … and then forget it. Alas.
Sam, very well said. Our God’s power is unlimited, but He is rarely pushy. The Holy Spirit cannot truly fill us if we are full of ourselves.
I agree totally!! Amen!!!
I like that “The Holy Spirit cannot fill us when we are full of ourselves.”
But humility (or emptiness) is not valued today. We are modern day Pharisees, each of us saying, “I am the greatest.”
It is hard to change the effect culture has on us.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
Exactly.
Sam… I knew this, but it is such a relief to hear it. I definitely have 9 kids so to speak and it feels like God is giving me one or two more. Rather than trying to be vividly present with them on my own strength, He leads me to stay focused on Him, trusting the urgings of the Holy Spirit. He really does seem to like me best utterly helpless! He is an amazing father, and spouse, and everything! (I hope that made some kind of sense.)
Hi Candace,
I do know some of your story, and I know the many “children” you care for. God gives us more than we can handle so we turn to him (and also so brothers and sisters can care for us as an expression of His love for us).
Thanks
Sam,
I hear the weariness and the self-doubt and the frustration in your voice at the beginning of this article. I’ve been feeling the same way lately. I know God’s been leading me to a particular ministry for the last 40 years, and yet I seem to have reached a plateau that’s preventing me from getting there. Have I been mistaken in my understanding of His will? Is there something I should be doing differently? Am I being blind to His leading in a direction that would take me to the next step?
Or is He simply emptying me because He knows that’s what I need the most?
Thanks for sharing both your struggles and your insight.
Ann
So good. Bull’s eye as usual.