Several years ago, I witnessed a well-known, incredibly talented worship leader. His guitar strum stirred my heart, his baritone voice felt like honey to the soul, and I was impressed (and a bit envious) as I watched him experience God. His fame made sense.
During his performance, he looked like a man in a state of unearthly bliss. I was a bit awed. But then I remembered my first awe of a worship leader.
One Sunday morning, when I was fourteen, I noticed my entire church singing louder than normal, and even tapping their feet. (Well, we were Presbyterians, so we just wiggled our toes.) Everyone sang with an unfamiliar confidence. We began verses in unison instead of a raggedy, smattering of voices slowly joined by others.
I asked my parents what had happened. They said we had just hired a new organist, Donna Picken. While this was before pyrotechnical guitars and smoke machines, and our only instrument was an organ, we worshipped with a passion few Presbyterians permit.
The thing was, Donna went unnoticed. We just sang better. We didn’t detect fancy organ bass riffs (they were probably there); we simply worshipped better.
Donna was a great leader because she was happy to be unnoticed. Donna was a great worship leader because she didn’t draw attention to herself; she pointed us to God.
The Problem with Attention
Every human soul desperately claws for attention. (Except you and me.) It’s obvious in kids: little boys climb trees shouting, “Mom, look at me,” and little girls dance in their Easter dresses singing out, “Dad, look at me.”
Adults are more subtle. (But not much.) People-pleasers claw for notice by their niceness; politicians exaggerate their great dedication; and Wall Street tycoons proclaim their brilliant daring.
But the best way to be noticed is to become a leader. (Politicians take second place.) Better yet, be a spiritual leader. People beg for your time, they adore your advice, and they praise you to their friends.
A large percentage of leaders are the people most desperate for attention. They work harder than us because they desperately need attention. Or adoration.
The problem with these leaders is that their lives primarily evoke their own praise.
Telltale Signs
We are surrounded by a sea of humanity, and we leave footprints in the sands of the lives we touch. The impact of our lives is felt by the people we engage. And every engagement with us leaves others encouraged, loved, and inspired to love God …
… or it leaves them merely inspired to praise our brilliance.
There are only two kinds people: people who work to build monuments to themselves, and people who pour themselves out and disappear. The only monuments that last are built by people who aren’t building their own monuments.
Sarah Smith
In The Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis describes a young man on a visit to heaven. While walking with a guide, he sees a great woman of glory beyond description. He asks,
“Is it?…is it?” I whispered to my guide.
“Not at all,” said he. “It’s someone ye’ll never have heard of. Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.”
“She seems to be…well, a person of particular importance?”
“Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.”
Sarah Smith simply loved every man, woman, and child she met, “Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves.”
Only the Seen Can Disappear
If we are so deeply desperate to be seen, how can we let ourselves disappear? Only in the gospel. The simple gospel is: we need to receive before we can give:
- We love because he first loved us;
- We comfort others with the comfort we’ve been given;
- Jesus washed the disciples’ feet so they can wash others.
And when we know are seen by God and we’ll no longer care if we’re seen by others.
What we need most right now isn’t stronger finances, a better marriage, good health, or more happiness. We simply need to know that we are seen by God. And in our subsequent worship of the King, we’ll be thrilled if others just see God.
As we allow ourselves to disappear in Him, maybe a few Presbyterians will even learn to wiggle their toes.
Sam
P.S. For the past fifteen years, my best friend, Gary Barkalow, and I have been working together. He and I realize that God has put a few key messages on our hearts that we want to speak and write about: Hearing God, Calling, Friendship, Humility … and the incredible spiritual value of Living an Examined Life.
Christian self-examination is not narcissistic self-preoccupation, nor is it is morbid self-flagellation. Christian self-examination is the learned skill of breaking free from the things that hold us back and the awakened spiritual recognition of the talents God has planted in us for His Kingdom.
It’s a jail-break seminar coupled with spiritual-investment counseling.
We recently recorded a retreat on the whole idea of “Living an Examined Life.” You can check out the course (and listen to the first session) by clicking here: Living An Examined Life (thenobleheart.com)
Grasping for Significance
Sam, this article couldnt have come at a better time. I recently became a church leader and find myself yearning for more attention from the members for my efforts but your article reminded me that what’s most important is that God sees.
Thank you, and God bless.
I remember Peter taking me to your fathers’ church on a Sunday night and he asked me to give my personal testimony.
Someone once told me that being a worship leader is like being the father of the bride at a wedding. The focus of the service is not on the father of the bride. His only job is to usher the bride into the presence of the bridegroom. After that, the entire service is about the relationship between the bride (the church) and the bridegroom (Jesus).
@Roger
What a wonderful analogy. I have been wrestling with the purpose of Sunday morning gatherings. To call it Church services or Worship services is too defining for me. Hebrews 10:27 calls it gathering together and I like Acts 2:42’s listing of what is being done.
Thanks!
Hi Sam,
Why are your articles always in sync with my mind. lol. Thank you. As I read your article, I was thinking about how my husband was Head Elder. . During his time as head elder Covid hit and our church was transitioning Pastors. I remember everyone was lost. No one knew how to handle zoom, church programs. Before my husband knew it he became not only head elder but also the problem solver for every little thing that went wrong. While my husband didn’t want the attention he was forced to take on the role. Unfortunately, at the same time I became ill. My husband was being pulled every direction except mine. This caused a huge rift between us that we are still working on. While my husband didn’t really want the attention, there was times I questioned who was more important. I guess in that scenario I was the attention seeker but he was the one receiving all the attention. The whole experience left me thinking how we all seek attention in different forms. While some find enjoyment in getting attention. Some of us just want companionship from others. Fast forward, what I have learned is that the only attention that matters is the one I receive from God!