Last Sunday night was a dark night. I woke in the dark, thinking dark thoughts, unable to stop my mind from wandering the shadowy paths of self-condemnation. I lay awake,
- Remembering my unfulfilled promises to my kids when they were young,
- Regretting my mistakes made as a boss to good employees,
- Wondering if my life had made any difference for good in the world.
My wife has been reading (and rereading) Ann Voscamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts. It’s a book about gratitude. I hoped it would do the trick. The first nine words were a quote,
Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness. (Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace)
I read those words and stopped. I almost felt the wind knocked out of me. I lay the book aside and prayed. I meditated the next thirty minutes on this simple statement: Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness.
It was just what I needed but not what I wanted. It stripped my soul and breathed in life.
That morning I woke, hoping to escape from sadness, but the sadness was really an emptiness that I feared to face. I prayed, and confronted, and heard this. Continue Reading…