Archives For Pouring out your heart

Why Do We Flee from A Sense Of Emptiness?

October 23, 2012 — 23 Comments

[To listen to a reading of this article, click here.]

Last Sunday night was a dark night. I woke in the dark, thinking dark thoughts, unable to stop my mind from wandering the shadowy paths of self-condemnation. I lay awake,

  • Remembering my unfulfilled promises to my kids when they were young,
  • Regretting my mistakes made as a boss to good employees,
  • Wondering if my life had made any difference for good in the world.

Sunrise came. I stretched and tried to shake off the phantom spirits of despondency. I looked for something to cheer me, something to help me forget the darkness.

My wife has been reading (and rereading) Ann Voscamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts. It’s a book about gratitude. I hoped it would do the trick. The first nine words were a quote,

Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness. (Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace)

I read those words and stopped.  I almost felt the wind knocked out of me. I lay the book aside and prayed. I meditated the next thirty minutes on this simple statement: Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness.

It was just what I needed but not what I wanted. It stripped my soul and breathed in life.

That morning I woke, hoping to escape from sadness, but the sadness was really an emptiness that I feared to face. I prayed, and confronted, and heard this. Continue Reading…

In Beliefs of the Heart, Christianity, Getting glory, God's Love, How we view ourselves, Overcoming Sin, Significance , , , , , ,
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How Do We Face The Struggles Of Life?

September 18, 2012 — 18 Comments

Today didn’t go as planned. Not even close.

Our dog Puzzle didn’t eat a bite on Sunday. I woke up today (Monday) to find two large pools of diarrhea in the family room and a cowering dog in the kitchen. I called the vet. They had an opening in one hour. For the next forty-five minutes I scrubbed and scoured the cesspools in our carpet.

When I coaxed Puzzle to the car, I discovered a flat tire. I pumped it up and sped to the vet. I had missed the “window” and sat for an hour amidst yapping dogs and a shivering Puzzle. (He’s fine; he just ate something bad.)

I dropped Puzzle off at home, and I limped to the tire store. They said it would take twenty minutes. An hour and twenty minutes later they said a nail and punctured the sidewall and I needed a new tire. But it wasn’t in stock. I’d have to come back.

I rushed to Panera’s for a lunch appointment, but my friend didn’t show up. He texted, saying that he had a toothache and was dashing to the dentist for an emergency visit.

I hurried home only to discover that my website was down. Apparently there had been a “massive DDoS attack on GoDaddy.com” (whatever that means) which affected thousands of sites. Including mine.

While talking with technical support, my wife came home with a kidney stone episode, so I ended the call and ran out to buy her some painkillers.

By mid afternoon my friend had a pain in the mouth, my wife had a pain in the side, and my day had been a pain in the ____ (fill in the blank). Continue Reading…

In Beliefs of the Heart, Christianity, Getting glory, God's Love, God's pursuit of our heart, Pursuing an Inner Life, Splendor, Strength to face the day , , , , ,
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Hearing God and Reflection

April 3, 2012 — 22 Comments

Thirty years ago I lived and worked in London with several other men. We were involved in campus ministry and the charismatic renewal. One housemate—let’s call him Tom—spent a couple hours in discussion with Rev. John Stott. When Tom returned from his visit, he was incredulous.

During Tom’s meeting, they discussed prayer. Stott claimed that his most significant times of prayer involve prayerful reflection with God. As a charismatic, Tom preferred exuberant worship with contemporary songs and praying in the Spirit.

We considered Stott’s “prayer” of reflection to be too intellectual, too shallow, too unenlightened, and perhaps unspiritual. We chuckled.

In fact, I’d say we snickered.

By the end of his life, Time Magazine identified Stott as one of the 100 most influential people in the world; he had written over 50 books; and he had helped hundreds of thousands—perhaps millions—of people. And we twenty-something neophytes snickered at his shallowness.

Thirty years later, I’m rethinking spiritual reflection, and I’m finding it rich. Stott was oh-so-very right, and I—once again—was oh-so-very wrong. Spiritual reflection is one of the deepest ways to connect with God that I’ve ever experienced.

I love to brainstorm, to whiteboard ideas, and to creatively go after innovative thoughts. I love doing this with friends for practical decisions, so I tried it with God.

I find I love it. Spiritual reflection is moving me closer to God, and I’m hearing his voice. Continue Reading…

In Beliefs, God's view of us, Growing in intimacy with God, Guidance, Hearing God, Pursuing an Inner Life , , , ,
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Confession before Repentance: Pausing in the moment

January 31, 2011 — 15 Comments

Most people understand that some sort of repentance powers the process through which we restore broken relationships. But God has been speaking to me about the secret of “confession before” as a special way of knowing God’s love. God has been teaching me the value of pausing in the moment of confession.


Video length: 2 minutes 49 seconds

If you want to know more, I wrote an article on what I have been learning and I spoke on it as well.

Here is the article: Confession before Repentance: Pausing in the moment

Here is the talk: Nakedness Fig Leaves Skins and Joy

In Confession, God's Love, Growing in intimacy with God , ,
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Pouring out our hearts to God

June 30, 2010 — 12 Comments

When we are taught to pray, many of us are taught about praise, thanksgiving, confession, etc. But the Psalms show—and we see it in David’s life—that God wants us to do more than just pray. God wants us to pour out our hearts to him.


Video length: 3 minutes 51 seconds

In God's pursuit of our heart, Growing in intimacy with God, Prayer , , ,
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